Note to self: Be courageous. Take risks. This includes enjoying my time in the US, no fear.
I want to be and will be, fearless. I mean, I do get scared, but I have this undeniable curiosity and thirst for adventure. Okay, maybe not explorer-level, but I do like trying new things.
I will give this, us, a year. I will give it my best shot, my heart and soul.
And then, let’s go from there.
I also realized that, as much as that week was full of a new kind of pain, I recognized properly how much my parents love me. How lucky I am to have them in my life the way I do now. How precious our conversations, both mundane and interesting, are. I am so lucky and grateful, if anything at all. Wow, how could I have taken all of this for granted?
How can they, after nearly three decades, still sandwich me literally with love? Just being there for me?
One of the things I can take away from the manager that I struggled with… “Work smart, not hard.”
Also, everything I’m learning now, during my break… It’s good to feel the emotions and not avoid them. But there’s also no time to wallow. That’s actually different.
In the grand scheme of things, if I put things into perspective… the fact that I could fly to the US without a visa, with a good amount of confidence that I would be admitted into the country without issues… is a privilege in itself.
Also, it’s time for me to take up space. I am meant to be here and there.
Don’t get caught up in the race that everyone’s running just for the sake of it.
“Lean into what you want in life, and how you want to spend your dough.”
And as Shonda Rhimes said, and even Cheryl Strayed after becoming a famous author – we are privileged. There is no time to whine and not get going. We are incredibly lucky. We need to put things in perspective, not lose sight of that.
The realization that, how my parents were okay with me not calling them at all those first years of college… it was the ultimate form of love.
“Everything about that boy pacing the hallway tells me a story I need to know: that we do not have the right to feel helpless, Helpless Mom. That we must help ourselves. That after destiny has delivered what it delivers, we are responsible for our lives. We can choose to fling our kids into the grass or we can take deep breaths and walk up and down the hall.”
We really must help ourselves.
One of the things I do want to take away from one of my previous managers is setting good boundaries.
I really appreciated how he would not respond at later hours and during the weekend unless it’s an emergency. Which, in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t happen as often as one might think.
I appreciated how, as a manager, he created an environment where team members did not feel like they needed to work/respond outside normal working hours.
I would like to do the same. Even when I’m not a manager of a team, I’m managing myself. I can and will set my own boundaries, for myself.